Sunday, November 16, 2008

you and me go fishin' in the dark...

I'm pretty sure this is the hardest and best part of my life so far. I don't think I've ever cried this much. I find myself crying at everything- good, bad, cute, stupid, frustrating.I cried at a music video yesterday. Thats where you draw the line.
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This has been an extremely hard time in my life, missing my sister, contemplating where my life is going at this point, friend drama that seems so hard to escape, etc. I won't even mention that my computer is broken and on the verge of blowing up.
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Even though this is extremely hard I've been learning that I've basically floated through life thus far. This is the first time that I've had to make decisions for myself . It all seems to be rocking my world.....and not always in the easiest way-- if that makes any sense. Through this all I've had to let go of a lot of stuff, but in the end its not really losing anything. I haven't lost my sister, but I just have to try harder now. It's been easy my entire life since she's been here. I never realized how much I took it for granted till she was gone. With all of this I am trying to look forward to trips to Nashville to "shop for the best of everything" & singing some country tunes.--
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Along with my sister being gone, I really hope college brings easier friendships. People tell me that it does. Although I am terrified to leave my nest, I'm looking forward to the lack of drama that high school seems to bring to everything.--With all these new things in my life, my favorite thing right now is Ryan's (& my?) new puppy Anna. We call her Anna Banana. She is 10 weeks old today and she likes to chew on everything, but it's pretty hard to resist those eyes.