today we got our class schedules in the mail. my senior year. they've screwed it up....or well, in my opinion they have. my counselor is a douche and he's not going to do what i want. hes not the one that sits through those classes everyday. i dont like him. it's frustrating me, because this is reality that summer is coming to a close and now i'm really going to have to make some adult decisions. i've wanted this for so long, I always thought i was so ready to leave home and that I could handle it. I was so wrong. I dont need pressuring, i know in time i'll be ready, but right now its coming at me full blast. My boyfriend, ryan, is completely ready. I wish I was. I envy that part of him that is completely stable with himself. I'm far too attached to my little cave that I call my room in my parents house. I jokingly told my dad that I was going to live with him in his basement forever. He laughed and told me he wouldn't allow that, but I love that deep down my parents never want to let me go.
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at times like these i have to remind myself that right now. in this moment. there is nothing wrong. im eating twizzlers and im completely fine. when i really think about it, i basically know that i'm going to UNI for graphic design.....i know. i don't have a decision to make. but im still afraid.
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--on a lighter note. i started Twilight tonight. I'm only 27 pages in, but i like it so far :) im not much of a reader, but i kind of broke down and decided to follow the crowd and read it.
1 comment:
decisions come 1 day at a time. don't wish for life to go too fast or too slow. it's all beautiful in it's own time. and stop calling people douches. i guarantee you he's sat through way more annoying classes than you have :P
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